


Nakajima Chuu-to's Guide to Kissing: Hey! Say! JUMP edition

by incandescence, takajima



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: #stopnakajima2k15, M/M, Yuto the kiss monster, collabaeration, poor Keito, this is all nakajima chuu-to's fault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 07:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4512579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incandescence/pseuds/incandescence, https://archiveofourown.org/users/takajima/pseuds/takajima
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Haven't we all kissed him?"</p>
<p>The many concert reports of Yuto kissing Keito awake led to this. Don't blame us, blame Nakajima Chuu-to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nakajima Chuu-to's Guide to Kissing: Hey! Say! JUMP edition

**Author's Note:**

> WE CANNOT BELIEVE WE WROTE THIS
> 
> I: I do not shed tears thinking about Yuto the Kissing Monster.
> 
> T: The takajima captain apologises for the following.

It’s not as though Yuto has been keeping a steady eye on the clock because they'll be told when it's almost time to go on stage, but he does notice at half an hour until call time that Keito’s still snoring lightly next to the makeup benches. 

“I fold,” he tells Inoo, Chinen and Hikaru, throwing his useless cards face-down onto the table. He stands up and stretches, then crosses the room.

Keito wrinkles his nose cutely, and Yuto finds himself cooing at how adorable Keito looks when he’s asleep. He kneels down in front of the sofa, intending to shake Keito awake, but at the very last minute decides to lean down and peck his band member on the lips. He figures it’s no big deal, Keito was super enthusiastic about being close to Arashi-senpai’s faces last week. 

The effect is almost instantaneous - Keito stirs, and a slow smile spreads across his face as he blinks the sleep out of his eyes. Yuto’s all ready to help tug him off the sofa when something in Keito’s eyes changes and he scrambles towards the far end of the sofa as quickly as he can. 

“....Did you? Did we? DID I?” 

“Yeah, well,” Yuto falters before something comes to mind and he grins, “it’s National Kissing Day!” He’s sure he heard someone talk about this day before. It’s not like Keito would know otherwise, anyway.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees Inoo rolling his eyes. “Yes, it’s National Kissing Day, and now Yuto needs to kiss me.” 

It’s in the most deadpan voice ever, but Keito looks a little less tense so Inoo smiles, batting his eyelashes at Yuto. Yuto shrugs, reaching over to tug Inoo into a kiss. 

Hikaru is nowhere to be found, having left the cards abandoned on the table, but the others are eyeing them with various degrees of amusement and exasperation. 

“Me next!” Chinen demands, because this has turned into a fucking game for him. 

Luckily Yuto likes kissing. 

The only problem is that looking at Chinen gives him a backache that is definitely not due till he turns thirty. At least. And probably not even then. He does his stretches every day.

But Chinen is a smart, proactive little shit, so Yuto finds himself being pushed back into the sofa next to a very bewildered Keito - when Chinen then crowds into his space Yuto has no choice but to kiss him back. 

Yuto is sure Yamada enters during one of the lip-lock sessions, because he’s right by his elbow now, and Yuto definitely didn’t hear him before. 

“You should kiss all of us,” Yamada declares.

“Sure,” Yuto shrugs, turning in the opposite direction to change, because he’s pretty sure he has less than ten minutes to get into that complicated looking pair of shoes. 

“Hey, what about me?” Yamada calls out after him.

When they make it backstage after the concert, there’s a tug on the towel wrapped around his neck. Yuto comes to a halt in the corridor and turns to find Yamada leaning against the wall. “I think it will be in our best interests for you to kabedon me.” 

“Huh?” Penlights and fangirl screams can be very distracting, and Yuto is still fuzzy from the adrenaline. 

Yamada sighs, exasperated. “You, me, chuuuuuu,” he makes a kissy face, gesturing not very subtly to the wall behind him. 

“Oh right, do you want me to do it right now?” The corridor they are in is not very deserted, but he leans in anyway, only to be stopped by Yamada’s hand.

“Come on, do it the way you did it for Sakurako-san,” Yamada whines, and he looks so pitiful Yuto can’t say no.

“Okay, let me start again,” Yuto says, and he steps away from Yamada’s hand while Yamada, satisfied, repositions himself against the wall. 

Kabedoning is kind of ridiculous so the urge to laugh is a little strong, but Yuto knows how important this is to Yamada so he tries to keep it together. He succeeds until the very last minute, bursting into giggles right when he gets into Yamada’s space.

Yamada hits him in the arm. “Do it properly!” he scolds, folding his arms and huffing up at Yuto until he backs away again.

“Sorry Yama-chan.”

This time he makes it all the way to the wall, but when he goes to nudge his knee between Yamada’s legs, he wobbles and loses his balance so badly that Yamada has to catch his arm.

“Yutti!” Yamada whines. He looks seriously put out, which just makes Yuto feel bad.

“I’m sorry. One more time?”

“I’m helping Yutti rehearse for a drama role,” Yamada explains when they break apart to find staff san looking at them weirdly. Nobody seems to believe him. 

Yabu and Hikaru seem to be hiding from him, but Yuto corners Hikaru the second he strips off his shirt. 

“What the--” 

He plants his lips on the unsuspecting but already suspicious Hikaru, and waits approximately half a second before Hikaru pushes him away. 

“OI!” 

Hikaru is already balling up his sweaty shirt to throw his way, so Yuto makes his quick escape via the door Yabu’s just opened. 

Yabu has both hands covering his mouth by the time Yuto safely makes it to the corridor. “I just saved your ass, so don’t kiss me,” he warns. 

Yuto shrugs, but still gives Yabu a flying kiss for good measure. 

Daiki takes an awful lot of time for a shower, Yuto realises, as he exits his shower stall and waits for the shorter man to be done with his. 

He might even be taking a longer time than Takaki, and Yuto knows for a fact that that guy has a shampoo routine. 

After another minute or so of waiting, Yuto decides that he doesn’t really care if Daiki is done. 

“SURPRISE!” He announces as he barges into Daiki’s shower stall. The latter barely moves from rinsing the soap off his body.

Maybe he should stop doing this so often, no one gets surprised anymore. 

Just as Daiki steps back from the showerhead, Yuto lathers more body wash on Daiki’s back, inciting an indignant squawk and an attempted slap that isn’t quick enough for Yuto’s lightning reflexes. 

“Wait, I still need to kiss you,” Yuto remembers, still holding onto both of Daiki’s wrists.

“But--okay fine. Please just hurry up.” Daiki squeezes his eyes shut and waits for it to happen. 

At that moment, a tiny head pokes through the opened shower curtains of the stall. 

“GUYS! YUTTI IS GONNA KISS DAIKI COME WATCH!” Chinen hollers. Seven heads come crowding in the doorway immediately. 

“Do it for the fans, Daiki!” Yuto coaxes, stepping underneath the spray, closer to Daiki.

The look he gets is distinctly unimpressed. “They’re not fans, they’re our bandmates.”

Yuto shrugs. “Tomato, tomato,” he chirps, and leans in for his sixth kiss of the night.

“Hey Daiki, you still have some foam on your back!” he leans out of the stall to call out to Daiki’s fleeing form. 

Yuto finds Takaki in their shared hotel room, lounging on his bed with his phone propped up on his knee. 

“I haven’t kissed you yet.” 

“You always forget about me,” Takaki replies with an exaggerated pout when he notices Yuto’s presence, moving to put his phone away.

“At least it’s not intentional?” 

Takaki scoots over, making room for a protesting Yuto. “So cruel,” he sighs with an obviously intentional head tilt, “do you not want to kiss me?” 

“I’m the one no one wants to kiss!” Yuto pouts. “I just saw Hikaru and Daiki kissing a while ago, and they were so reluctant with me!” He makes an obnoxious kissy face at Takaki and wails, “why does no one want to kiss me!” 

Takaki grimaces, squishing both Yuto’s cheeks in his hand halfway through Yuto’s flaily monologue.

“I promise I’ll be quick,” Yuto mumbles through Takaki’s grip on his face. 

Takaki lets go, looking at him with an unreadable, almost expectant expression on his face.

Yuto swallows, leaning over to press his lips against Takaki’s for the briefest of seconds, before pulling back. “Sorry for violating your lips.” 

He doesn’t get very far away before Takaki pulls him back down to sit on the edge of his bed, leaning in fully. 

“You suck at giving kisses,” Takaki whispers, and Yuto would feel insulted if not for the fact that Takaki’s face is still really close to his. This suddenly doesn’t feel as funny as it did with the rest of the members.

And then Takaki is on his lap and kissing him with great vigor, his lips as warm as the arm thrown around his neck. Yuto’s arms reach out to Takaki’s waist to steady them, but the balance doesn’t last long and they soon find themselves toppling onto Takaki’s bed.

Takaki’s the first one to break the silence, laughing into Yuto’s shoulder, and Yuto feels compelled to laugh with him as well, although he has no idea at what. 

“What was that for,” Yuto whispers back, “didn’t you say I sucked at kissing?”

“You do,” Takaki says, and Yuto pouts, “but I still want to kiss you.”

“Practice makes perfect, right?” 

***

An argument between the other eight wakes Yuto up the next morning, most not even bothering to keep their voices down even in the presence of a band member engaging in peaceful slumber. They’ve also decided to congregate around his bed for some reason, and when Yuto opens his eyes to tell whoever’s making the bed dip to get off he’s shocked to find Chinen’s face mere inches from his own.

“Blargh.” Yuto flails, trying to flatten himself further into the pillow.

Chinen makes a face and noise of disgust. “Well, I don’t want to kiss him while he’s conscious,” he says, and climbs back down.

Silence falls when they realise Yuto’s awake, all turning to stare at him. He’s just about to protest that he’s not awake enough for whatever this is when a sheet of paper is shoved in his face.

His vision is still fuzzy so he has to stare at it for a while until Daiki’s pathetic excuse for handwriting starts to make sense. 

“Guys, why are you giving me a piece of a paper with your names on it? I already know them.” 

“Since you’ve already assaulted all of our lips,” Yamada begins, crossing his arms.

“NOT ALL!” Yabu cheers, pumping his fist into the air.

“You really don’t know, maybe he kissed you and you were still asleep,” Daiki helpfully supplies, and Yabu shuts up.

“What did you think? Give us your honest opinions.” Inoo says, looming in close as he smirks. 

“A feedback survey, if you will,” Chinen adds.

Yuto blinks. “But I was the one giving the service.”

There’s moment of silence before Yamada speaks. “Anyway, we want your opinions. Here’s a pen.” 

***

Keito: most obedient kisser  
Inoo: prettiest kisser  
Chinen: cutest kisser  
Yamada: softest lips (that strawberry lipbalm was a nice touch! :D)  
~~Hikaru~~ Hikaru: funniest reaction when kissed ;)  
Daiki: wettest kiss  
Takaki: wildest kiss ♥  
Yabu: virgin lips 

Additional comments  
Best Kisser: YUTO :D 

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday, beanstalk.


End file.
